The GIST: We hope you’re feeling as healthy and wealthy as Sixer Joel Embiid is this week. That’s a lot of zeros.

The GIST: Three of the world’s top men’s soccer leagues kicked off over the weekend, and if you’re feeling like you need a quick refresher on the complexities of European football, then you’ve come to the right place. Just call us Coach Beard.

The GIST: The USWNT lost their semifinal match to Canada 1–0, thanks to a penalty kick awarded late in the second half. Heart-wrenching.

The GIST: While we’re impatiently waiting for Wednesday’s expansion draft to sailgate with the Kraken at Lake Union, let’s catch up on the Mariners and soccer news.